With so much of what we do being an unconscious series of habits and routines we’ve picked up along the way, I’ve been playing with fine-tuning my vibration- my point of attraction- as it relates to the fine details of what I find myself doing. In bringing about our own version of massive success, how many of our habits are in line with that success?
After 30+ years of repeating these unconscious routines, I want to know why, after a period of focus and centeredness I might find myself feeling groggy or lazy. Why at times do I feel FULL passion for playing at what I love doing, and other times resist the idea so I can watch some mildly amusing TV show? I’m not looking to punish myself or feel guilty or worried when those disconnected, video-game-playing moments arrive, I simply want to release those old patterns, and thereby cease putting the brakes on bringing about what I really want my life to be.
I am endlessly curious on how I may yet be even more effective- and not just in general, but on a day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment basis. I aspire, for the length of time I’m on this planet, to release ALL the old habits and patterns that do not serve me, big and small, and embrace the ones that do. One of these old habits, I found, is in our desire and duty to be a good friend.
Recently I’ve been pondering and reading about Vibrational Vicinity. This digs further into the idea that we are always surrounded by the essence of the thoughts we are focusing upon and the feelings we are having. If we, for instance, want to listen to classic rock instead of electronica, we must tune to a different station. So if your current life experiences and the circumstances that surround you were a type of music, what genre of music do you have your radio (or Pandora) tuned to? And more importantly, how do you feel while you are listening to it?
My birthday was this week, and it was a truly magical day of fun and abundant surprises and an outpouring of love from so many people. I was in a deep state of gratitude ALL DAY, start to finish. I kept remarking how it felt like I was HIGH- for about 18 hours straight. I was completely blissed-out. And in that high vibration, I noticed that a couple friends were conspicuously absent.
Now I was being barraged all day with love, so my mood wasn’t going to change whether I heard from these two guys or not, but these are friends that I hear from often, or see active on Facebook daily, so I was simply aware of their absence. They have good hearts, as is required for me to count them among my friends, but I’ve noticed they often have a perspective of doom and gloom. They see and focus upon what is going wrong with either the world or their businesses, and often, (purposefully or not) lose sight of all the good that surrounds them.
On that particular day, from my vibrational vantage point, it was as if they had vanished. They simply did not match with my point of attraction, and therefore stayed over there while I was blissed out over here.
The following day, as my Birthday Bliss settled down a bit, I heard from both of them- and each extolled their personal versions of “How the Sky is Falling Today,” from their own unique vantage points. I humored them ever so briefly- more as a curiosity than anything. I was keenly aware of how I felt while listening, like I was a receptacle for the negative, fear-based energy they were expressing. I realized that some need I had to be a “good friend” was effectively giving over the steering wheel in that moment to each friend, and allowing each of them to drive us straight into the wall of his negative viewpoint. I realized that this is something that must end.
I have no desire to change my friends. If they or anyone chooses to focus on the negative attributes of their circumstances, rather than the equally valid positive ones, that is their choice. I had to put myself through many years of that narrow viewpoint before living the one I do now, and it is not my place to push anyone’s own process of making a better choice for themselves. It will happen when they are ready for it to happen.
But that doesn’t mean that I have to go along for that ride. I’ve taken that trip. I was on that road a long time. I won’t be going back.
There is no amount of feeling bad with someone that is going to re-align their focus and kick-start them into feeling joy again. So in knowing that our feelings are the indicator for what we are attracting to us, right now, how much will we let a sense of obligation or duty in letting our friends “vent” take us off our own course? How much will we choose to let our sympathy for our friends take us down the path of what they don’t want? I don’t know about you, but for me, even putting on the brakes on attracting everything I want, is unacceptable to me, much less turning around and attracting the essence of someone else’s negative viewpoint- it’s just not gonna happen.
We cannot join someone in their dark place in hopes of leading them out of it and back into the light. In fact, that is the moment when it is most important to STAND, rooted, in that light. If we live our lives in the LIGHT OF JOY, stand strong in the enthusiasm and passion of a purpose-driven life, if we can show, by example, how amazingly delicious being in that light is, then and only then can make a difference for others we care about. Only then do we give them a reason to set aside what isn’t serving them, and reach for what truly will- and isn’t that the deepest fulfillment of our duty and desires to help our friends?