Self-Love and The Role of The Intuitive Empath

Last weekend, Vola and I took our first trip back to Los Angeles since moving away from there a few years ago. We were there to attend Kyle Cease’s Evolve Out Loud weekend workshop at the Dolby theater. It was also an opportunity to meet up with friends and acquaintances I’d met from a Steve Pavlina workshop I’d attended previously. In the days leading up to the event, and afterwards, we all had formed a chat group to keep in touch and share our experiences.

EOL was amazing. Life-changing. And seeing L.A. again through the lens of our current, far more congruent perspective was very eye-opening, to say the least.

Since EOL, I’ve had one dramatic change in particular that was wholly unexpected: my own empathic/psychic ability has been greatly amplified. (Previously, I had been given guidance that moving into the heart would have this effect, but I had let go of any expectations of that happening, and had subsequently completely forgotten about this.) During the EOL event, at a certain moment, I felt myself drop into the heart frequency, and in doing so, I felt an immediate psychic connection to one and all in the room.

So now, I am receiving psychic impressions about the people in the chat group of friends that I went to the event with. This is information that is flowing to me, without my asking for it.

But before I go into that further, I first want to talk about Vola.

Vola has always been psychic. Her entire life has been this way. She receives information about people. And when I talk about information received, it is frequently the type of information that the person has attempted to hide, either from themselves or others or both. In a word, secrets.

So Vola (and now I) are receiving people’s secrets. Not every secret, mind you, but this stuff simply shows up, and it’s as clear as the nose on your face.The challenge of this is multi-fold, based around the simple question: what do I (we) do with this information?

In my estimation, this information would not be coming to me (us) unless there was a reason for it to be doing so. Otherwise, this would just be wasted. It seems nonsensical to me that an ability such as this – a gift to do be able to do this – would be given to a person not to be shared, but instead so that the psychic person would spend their life time pushing it back, trying to shut down the gift so as not to hear the messages contained within.

This is exactly what Vola has done, her whole life. This resisting the gift has, in many ways, been her default “coping mechanism” of having this magnificent gift, and having to move through a world of people who prefer to hold onto their secrets/illusions and don’t want to deal with the insightful information she has to share about them, for their highest good.

This to me is profoundly sad, that such a gifted person would be brought to a place of structuring their life around the idea that others can’t handle the gift that they have to share with the world – the blessings that these insights would be for them.

To me, in my own experience, I have had this gift (although not as strongly as Vola), but only in recent years have I even begun to recognize what that gift was. I have historically believed this idea of psychic ability existed somewhere outside of me, but that it should be part of my experience, if only I could develop it somehow.

But of course, the idea that I could have psychic powers was “fantasy land,” with no place for that sort of thing in our world. So where did I spend my time? In that fantasy land, and worlds of make-believe, of psychic superheroes and force-wielding Jedis. In these places, I felt like I was home. In these places, having psychic abilities wasn’t a big, crazy woo-woo deal. It was just normal.

Fast forward to now. I’m in this chat group of the people we went with to EOL. All these people were right there with me, took in the same EOL workshop, and had a life-changing experience there, though it clearly affected them in different ways.

For me, and for Vola, this event has firmly cemented the heart frequency as our default setting, the place where we are coming from (decision-wise) the majority of the time now. And that has led, most specifically, to clearly identifying previous choices, habits, and reasoning that did not originate from this heart frequency, but rather from the ego/mind. And of course, it’s not enough to simply identify these egoic choices as not being commensurate with the newly cemented heart frequency, but we must also be willing to let them go, in order to stay in the heart. And that is our wish.

So to bring this all together, in my experience, one must speak their truth to remain in the heart frequency. To hear our heart’s truth and to rationalize away its desire to be expressed – these are the habits/practices/methods of the egoic mind. They are the opposite of self-love.

And so, if we are in the habit of editing one’s truths as they are intuitively flowing through you (because they may not be socially welcomed by those who prefer to cling to their illusions and secrets), this practice of editing ourselves must fall away for us to stay in the heart frequency.

Our resistance to our own gifts must cease. The gift is natural. It is our nature. And as I mentioned to Vola, not allowing ourselves to make use of this immense psychic ability gift is akin to choosing to walk around everywhere on our hands, rather than using these powerful, capable legs and feet. It’s nonsensical. It’s an egoic idea. And it too must be released, to be in the frequency state of self-love.

And so – I have been getting psychic impressions of some of the individuals in the group. And as this level of psychic awareness is new to me, I had been taking Vola‘s historic approach to these insights, and choosing not to share them.


Different people are at different phases in their own personal journey at any given time. I am not here to push anyone into what they are not ready for. In this case, I simply wasn’t asked – I’d be offering unsolicited advice. And while there are a few in the group with whom I feel 100% free to share whatever comes up, good or challenging, there are others whom I sense would be a 50-50 coin toss in terms of how these specifically relevant insights would be received.

So in order to remain in a self-loving, heart-centered vibration, I had some choices to make. I could share what I receive freely, come what may, or, I could remove myself from the group.

Thankfully, in receiving these psychic insights pertaining to an individual, part of what comes through is an understanding of whether or not that individual is currently ready and open to hearing this information, and more to the point, whether they are ready to act upon that information in a self loving way, here and now.

In the case of that group, there are a couple of people having a very mind-centered experience, and making choices that might be praised from that perspective. And that is perfectly fine.

When I look at those situations and those choices however, from this intuitive perspective, what I see is something very different. I see through those decisions to what they are – more games of the mind, none of which lead any deeper into the heart at all. Only through seeing these experiences in truth (as intuition is delivering to us all), is one able to jettison these mind games and return and flourish in our natural heart frequency.

So in these cases with these individuals, my sense was that sharing what I have been gifted to share could be interpreted as being discouraging to those individuals, and I have no desire to do that.

If one were to shatter your illusions, would you embrace that gift? Or would you attack the messenger and seek the refuge of those or other illusions?

And so I find myself in a very interesting spot – one I’ve never been in before from this perspective: I have a gift to share with the world. And though this gift may provide messages that slice through illusions, those who are strong enough to hear and embrace the message are then freed of the patterns their minds had generated. And one by one, we can all move into our hearts, and act from self-love as our default way of living.

It is of course, not up to me to decide for anyone their degree of readiness. But it is up to me to decide what environments I will spend my time (my most precious resource) in. And if I find for myself that an environment is not ready to hear the messages flowing through me about them (as is the case in that particular chat group), then I simply must remove myself from it and energize/create environments where my time is spent with individuals who welcome the blessings and the challenges of someone with this gift.

This has been my relationship with Vola. I have even said to her, years ago, that no matter how I may react to her psychic/intuitive messages in the moment, I want her to share them with me, as she receives them. Even if in the moment my mind may still feel attached to a decision I’ve made or an identity that I’ve invested in, I fully recognize and respect the blessings of her gift (which is now mine as well).

Put simply, the gift is to receive the messages as they come, and deliver them: a psychic mail person, if you will. What to do with that message is up to the recipient. That is not the burden of the messenger.

Cultivating self-love is not without challenges, to be sure, but embracing who we actually are (and all of our unique gifts) does not include editing ourselves for the sake of others. We can be tactful, certainly, but we can’t live as our brightest, most expansive, most radiant selves if we are worried where our light may shine, and what may be revealed in doing so.